Home > diary > Goodbye, My Dearest Friend

Goodbye, My Dearest Friend

I put my beloved friend to sleep on Friday, noon. I held her in my arms as she finally slept without those horrible muscle tremors. These two months were hard on us but for her, it was a living nightmare. I am neither proud, happy nor relieved of what I did. If I continue to dwell on the past 2 months and especially that last day, all I remember of her would be fear, pain and on my part, bottomless guilt. So, I decide to write down what I remember best of her short life with me.

Last Hug

My Last Hug

Kate lived only one and a half year. A short but well-lived life. She has overcome every darn thing life threw at her. She was a fighter, stubborn, courageous. Her body failed her but she was determined to enjoy as much life as she could. If she couldn’t run, then she was determined to gallop. If she couldn’t strut, she would trot. She couldn’t jump, so she climbed. She fought for control so she could lick water, she stubbornly put her paws where the food was, so that she could compensate her head-shaking.

She meowed non-stop because she knew I loved talking to her. She was so proud when she pounced for the first time in her life. I remember her showing it off. She was upset when she fell over after she pounced, but boy, was I proud of her. I remember her trying to rub herself on our legs which was near impossible because of her lack of co-ordination. She was naughty and challenged my authority over her. But when I was down, she sat next to me, put her paw on my lap and gave me comfort.

Whenever one of us come home, she would wake up, stretched and trotted happily to the door even before the lift door opened. It has always amazed us that she knew which ‘ding’ meant owner’s home. I didn’t have to wonder when Alistair would be home from a gig. If she was sleeping, he ain’t home.

Contented LifeEvery night, she would climb her way under my comforter to snuggle. If I worked too late, she would grumbled until I stopped working and snuggled with her. Every morning at around seven, she would wake me up. She would put her face into my face, she would play with my toes or she would bite my toes. “Good morning, pretty”, I would tell her and she would jump down (she loved jumping down) and clawed the rug happily. Then it was time to play. But by nine, she would hurry us out the door. Her duty completed for the day, she would find a nice spot and curled up until I come home.

She loved to sit at the balcony and watch the world in the morning. She would sun-bathed while I played the piano. When I bath, she would make herself comfortable and wait outside the bathroom. She preferred I sat with her for breakfast.

She loved snuggling in soft comforter, car rides, tickles, water in the bathroom, air-con. She enjoyed walking outside the apartment, watching her zoo. She liked tuna, sardin.

Kate has a tremendous spirit in a weak body. It was obvious I was the world to her. I hope she knew I loved her just as much.

Categories: diary
  1. Kate the Cat
    September 16, 2010 at 9:26 am

    I am also a cat named Kate.
    I lost my little brother George just a week ago. He sounds a lot like your Kate. He was very sick ever since he was a kitten, and he was the sweetest, best cat I have ever had the privelege to know. We were lucky to have six whole years with him before he died. I am sorry for your loss.

  2. spellcaster
    September 20, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    Thanks for getting to know Kate. I am glad to know you had George for so many years.

    For Kate, I would have kept her by my side despite the daily attacks, the twice-daily medication except for one heart-wrenching fact. She had always wear her heart on her sleeve and I saw her getting worse by the day and finally she was terrified even of me, her best-est friend, for forcing meds into her every day… She wasn’t gonna get better.
    Doctors were prescribing more and heavier medication to be forced into her frail body, I finally realised that it may keep her body alive but her spirit would be totally defeated.

    Odds had stacked up against her from the day she was born. I am just grateful for her one year with me.

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