Home > diary > Kate Cat, Hope and Easter Day

Kate Cat, Hope and Easter Day

This past 1 and a half month has been tiring, physically and mentally. After a long holiday, the first week home itself drained me.

Kate fighting for control

Kate Cat has been fighting for her life and sanity while I feel myself going into despair watching her helplessly. Her seizures started a few days after we all came home. It wasn’t that bad but it became worse and became daily.

Her seizure or fits range from “mild” where she goes into a panic, crouch in fear, cry and run into her box to hide, to “violent” where she trash and slam all over the apartment, losing all control of her bowels. In one of those violent fit, she tore out two of her claws (right leg). Some people ask me what’s the big deal, I can’t explain the terror you will feel when it happens. I can’t explain the terror she feels as she fight for control.

Some people can’t begin to understand why it is such a big deal to me. It is a big deal to me because she is a living being under my care, a living being who has shown me incredible strength, a will to live and unconditional love.

We have sent her to so many vets – her regular vets, UPM vets, AMC (emergency ward at 3am). She was diagnosed with so many contradicting disease by the vets – perhaps it was hematoma, or otitis, or epilepsy, or vestibular syndrome, or poisoning, or right now, we are trying to treat her for Ataxia and Thiamine deficiency. She was put on so many meds to try and correct the problems. She had to see a vet averagely twice a week, usually the second time being an emergency.

Every time it looks like she is getting better, something new will pop up. After being on meds for fits, she began circling and falling on her side, not including being so depressed she stared into space. We had to get a vet on an emergency call when she didn’t pass motion for the 8th day. Every day, it is a tense wait for the next fit.

It breaks my heart to see her so very different from the naughty, stubborn companion who made me laugh. It breaks my heart whenever she see me bring out the syringe, and her eyes will become lifeless, she just gives up and crawls into her box after each time I force some medicine into her. And the medicine after a few days, seems to be causing her more problems instead.

We have tried medicine. We have tried not giving medicine. I have tried praying. I have tried not praying. I am running out of strength. She is running out of options.

Tomorrow is supposed to be Easter Day. A celebration. Of hope. After the whole month of daily false hopes, all I can think of is what nasty disappointment will pop up tomorrow? Or perhaps, a very very very desperate perhaps, her Creator will have pity on us and help her?

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